T - 6 days....

You would have thought I was a first-time mom the way I freaked out when I heard Tate cough this morning. No offense to first-time moms, of course, but you tend to be able to diagnose everything from strep throat to dehydration to stomach flu yourself by the third kid. You know the "vomiting protocol" by heart, and you only call the doctor if you think you need antibiotics. I woke up extra early this morning, unable to sleep because all of a sudden I was really nervous that Tate was going to get sick before Wednesday, and the surgery would have to be postponed. I got the boys ready for school, and as we got in the van (it didn't help my nerves that the back doors were frozen shut, despite the fact that I warmed up the car first), I heard him cough. 3 times. It sounded bad. Pretty rough, kind of croupy. So of course, I panicked. I took the boys to school, and came home and picked up the phone at 8am. Lucky for me, my best friend is a nurse. It's pretty nice to have your own personal Dial-A-Nurse when you have 3 boys. So I told her what happened.... "Sarah! Tate coughed this morning!" She promptly laughed. She knew right away why I was nervous, and more than that, she knew me well enough to know that I'd HAVE to be nervous about SOMETHING for the next 6 days. And she calmed me down, told me I didn't have to rush him to the pediatrician to get him on antibiotics this morning, and told me they'd check him out at his pre-op appointment this afternoon. Phew. That was close. 


As it turned out, Tate didn't cough the rest of the day. At least not real coughs. He has been happy all day, and seemed to be in very little, if any, pain. He did great during his quick check-up at his pre-op appointment. We didn't have to meet with the anesthesiologist today... we'll do that the morning of the surgery, since Tate is a healthy child. And I took care of paying the deductible to the hospital over the phone on Tuesday to save us a stop in the Finance office. So after the exam and some paperwork, we went to a little room so the PA could take measurements of Tate's good eye, so they can make the conformer for his left eye socket. That was when it started to hit home. He was having such a good day and with so little pain, that if he didn't start to flinch and squint because of the bright lights in the office, I think I would have picked him up and carried him out right then and there. But I know he needs this. And I know he will be ok. He'll be better than ok. He'll be healthier and happier when his sick eye is taken out. I know it will be an adjustment for us, but I also know it will be worth it. It just has to.


I am SO thankful for my friends and family. I have gotten so much support.... prayers, hugs, phone calls, and offers to help. I worry (cause that's what I do - worry) that some of the people who I have only recently gotten to know since all this chaos has been going on might think I'm nuts. Well, you know... more than I actually am. I've been so spastic with my emotions all over the place, panicking every day about something, off the deep end, worrying ALL the time. So I just want to say that I'm not usually this bad. Well, not quite. I do worry (especially when it comes to my kids), and I can be a little crazy and emotional at times (can't we all?), and I can be a control freak (what???). And you're thinking "So how is that all different from how you have been lately?" Ok, yeah, nevermind. 


And because I know you only really come here to see my cute little boy (not listen to my endless babble), I'll share one of my favorite photos of him... I took this in July, right after we were first told that his eye was degenerating and would have to be removed at some point. I didn't know how long it would be, so I had an urge to take some photos of him as he was then. He will ALWAYS be perfect in my eyes.