oops!

oh my word, the last few months have flown by! this little excerpt from my last post might have something to do with my extended absence from blog world.... 

"i've been feeling a bit overwhelmed lately. you know those times when you try to doing everything at once? like, hey, i want to eat more healthy, start exercising, declutter my house, rebrand and grow my business, be a better and more involved mom, volunteer at the school, spend more quality time with my husband, cook more often (ok, or at all), do a better job with our finances... oh, and doing a little something for myself might be nice. you know, when i have some spare time."

so yeah. that pretty much covers it. i haven't made much progress on... well, anything. i think it's a case of being spread too thin... i have so much going on that i can't quite complete any one task. my business is my priority (right behind my kids, of course), and i've been keeping busy renovating part of our home for natural light photography studio. it's pretty exciting, but i'm *so* ready to be finished! we've had a new 6 foot by 5 foot window installed, then we painted the room white. (on a side note, do you have any idea how many coats of white paint it takes to cover dark brown?? we went through a gallon of primer and three gallons of white paint! and i *never* want to see another paint roller!) next step will be to rip up carpet and install hardwood floors. then i'll be ready to roll! (and a hint to current and future clients: i may be cooking up a little special to celebrate the new studio! stay tuned!) we are re-designing another room in our home for a consultation/prop room. it'll be in use shortly, but it'll be one of those things that comes together slowly.... i don't want to rush into any purchases for my consultation room, i want it to be perfect. or at least, perfectly me!

so the good news since my last post... tate had a followup with his pediatric GI doc at the end of september, and was given the all-clear. they cancelled his tests that had been scheduled for november 8th. now, don't get me wrong, this doesn't mean he's healed yet. he still has the gastroparesis and reflux. but we have it under control enough with diet that the doc doesn't find it necessary to keep badgering him with one test after another. so thankful for that! he still complains of tummy aches pretty regularly, but we've only had one day of vomiting for him in the last few months (and that was just a few weeks ago), so he's doing so much better. the doc decided that he's not having enough tummy aches to warrant meds, and i'm ok with that. thank you for all of your prayers through this whole mess! glad we're starting to move past it! 

fall is my busy season with my photography business, so i pretty much just aim to keep my head above water until january. things got a bit crazy there for a while (i mean, really... who plans a 3 day photography conference immediately followed by a week-long vacation in the middle of their busiest season?? *raising hand*)

needless to say, haven't gotten any farther with the house-decluttering-task yet. and i *really* need to do that! now that i have a studio (ok, almost), i no longer have a junk room to move all the unwanted mess to. my plan is to start a pile of crap neatly stack things in the basement until it's sorted for yard sale, donation, and consignment store. i plan to go room by room and leave no useless junk behind. i may need a bigger basement.

over the last few months.... school is going well for the kids, we survived another soccer season for jake and noah, and noah started a hip hop dance class at a local dance studio and he loves it. i've been revisiting the 80s lately while downloading some songs to my iphone for noah to dance to, since it's near impossible to find hip hop music nowadays that is in any way appropriate for kids. i've been enjoying the journey back in time... i heart 80s music. oh, and speaking of iphone... i got the new 4S for my birthday. it's simply awesome. siri is my new bff, and she keeps me on track for everything i need to do. even the kids know her... whenever i tell the boys "hey guys, don't let me forget to.... " they just respond with "just tell siri to remind you, mom!" and i won't lie... a couple of times, they've even called her *aunt* siri. she really has become part of the family. i'm pretty sure the kids think she's a real person, out in the world somewhere. if you haven't seen the iphone 4S and siri in action, check out some of the ads on you tube! and honestly, it's my first smart phone (my old phone was a dinosaur, and met an untimely death due to a water ride on previously mentioned vacation), *and* an apple product (big fan here), so i'm in love. this past month, i won a photography contest with our credit union. my photo will adorn the cover of their 2012 calendar, and an extra $500 will adorn my wallet. $500 can go a long way toward hardwood floors! 

i hope to include some photos in the next post, so stick with me. i'll try not to go MIA for so long next time!

but for now, i have a to do list taller than i am, so off i go!  

ramblings... it's what i do.

ok, seriously, i didn't mean to fall off the face of the earth like that. i blame Pinterest. actually, i blame Pinterest for lots of time lost recently. my facebook status from the wee hours of this morning reads "seriously? five minutes ago it was 11pm and now it's almost 1am. darn Pinterest." if you don't know what Pinterest is, i'll try to explain it. imagine that you have a bunch of those cork pinboards hanging on a wall. and then you have lots of things pinned to it, like recipes and decorating ideas that you've ripped out of magazines that you were reading in the waiting room at the doctor's office. well, that's pinterest, but it's virtual. you can "pin" anything on the world wide web and decide which of your boards to pin it on. I have different boards for different categories... recipes, home decor, cool stuff for my office, fun props, etc. Pinterest is especially awesome if you're planning a wedding or redecorating a room. if you aren't on Pinterest yet but want to join, send me your email address and i'll send you an invite. oh, and say goodbye to all of your free time. you've been warned. 


so the last time i posted, tate had his upper GI done. we hoped that would be the last test, but apparently the doctor didn't get see everything he wanted to see... so we go back november 8th for an upper endoscopy and an antroduodenal manometry. yeah, i don't know either. but i do know that they will have to put him to sleep, complete with an IV, and he will have to stay overnight. he is still off of all meds since his allergic reaction to the erythromycin. i can't wait til this mess is behind us. 


so what else has been going on? the boys started school last week. i now have a kindergartner, a third grader, and a fifth grader. i don't feel like i'm old enough to have a fifth grader! (the boys keep reminding me that i am, i definitely am.) tate seems to be enjoying kindergarten. i hope my little overview i gave his teacher wasn't too overwhelming. "so tate has a prosthetic eye that he hopefully won't take out, and he has tummy issues that make him randomly vomit." that went well. 


here are a couple of photos i took on the first day of school...


yes, noah always looks that crazy. 

not so good at the fake smiles, is he? 

i have been working 24/7 on my photography business lately. i really thought life would slow down a bit when i quit my full-time night job, but i'm still up til 3am working, and now that the kids are back in school, my schedule isn't all that different from what it was when i was working at the airlines. i am so blessed to be as busy as i am business-wise in this economy, and hoping that it continues to grow. i am in the process of rebranding my business. i am officially changing my business name to jenn lewis photography. i think there was too much disconnect with the photographic memories name. i think people had heard my name and had heard photographic memories, but didn't necessarily know i was one and the same. and with using only word of mouth for advertisement, as i have for the past 4 years, i strongly depend on people making the connection. so jenn lewis photography it is. rebranding takes a lot of work, and i'm certain that i'll see something in like 8 months that will still say photographic memories because i never thought to change it! my previous website address still forwards, but my new website address is http://www.jennlewisphotography.com. there will be a lot of changes soon with my business. i'm looking forward to it! like my new logo? 

my other project is decluttering the house. i'm moving very slowly (hey, i have a business and 3 kids, remember? 4 if you count todd). anyway, i finished tate's room a few weeks ago, and todd helped me with jake and noah's room while the boys were visiting their grandma in ohio. now is where the fun begins... our bedroom is next, but the closet will be the tough part. do you have a place where you throw everything you don't know what to do with? well, the closet has been ours, and let's just say it's a more than a little out of control. ever seen the tv show hoarders? ha! ok, maybe it's not that bad, but intervention probably wouldn't hurt. wish me luck! 

i've been feeling a bit overwhelmed lately. you know those times when you try to doing everything at once? like, hey, i want to eat more healthy, start exercising, declutter my house, rebrand and grow my business, be a better and more involved mom, volunteer at the school, spend more quality time with my husband, cook more often (ok, or at all), do a better job with our finances... oh, and doing a little something for myself might be nice. you know, when i have some spare time. i want to hear from the supermoms, especially those of you who run a business and have multiple children... how do you do it?

rotten day

So Tate's Upper GI with small bowel follow-through was today. As far as I was concerned, this seemed like it would be the easiest test so far. Well, let me just say, I was so wrong. 


I look back at the beginning of all this junk with the random vomiting and terrible upset tummy issues for Tate, and it makes me sad for him. Just when he was getting used to his prosthetic eye, and I've said many times that he's happier than he's ever been since he had his eye removed, this mess starts. Sorry, I'm having a total pity party today, and it's probably a party you didn't want to be invited to. But yet, here you are. So anyway, we started with the CT scan... after being up vomiting since 4am that morning, then driving an hour to spend 4 hours at an appointment getting his prosthetic eye adjusted (in other words, getting poked and prodded), he had to come home just to head straight to the hospital and have an IV put in to have his CT scan done. He was tired, cranky, and didn't feel well, and it was the last thing he wanted to do, and he showed that by having a complete meltdown the minute he saw the IV needle. But we made it through. Then came the gastric emptying study... on that day, he woke up at 5am, vomited for 4 hours (dry heaving at the end since there was nothing left in his stomach), then was at the hospital for 5 hours for the study. The toughest part about that day was having to make him eat the radioactive eggs, and feeling bad for him cause he was, again, tired, cranky, and not feeling well. So when I didn't wake up til my alarm went off this morning, instead of waking up to Tate vomiting on my bed or in the hallway, I thought we were off to a good start. We got ready, headed to the hospital, but not before I put a request on my facebook page that my friends pray that I didn't have trouble getting him to drink the barium, because I knew how stubborn he could be. (He's my kid). 


We got to the hospital for our 915am appointment. We entertained ourselves with my Galaxy Tablet while we waited for an hour to be called back. The doctors were confirming with our Pediatric GI doctor that the plan would include the small bowel follow-through, because apparently, that takes a lot longer, and they don't usually do that unless there's a specific reason. So after it was confirmed that we needed the whole thing, they gave me the cup of barium and got Tate up on the table. They offered him a flavor, and he, of course, chose the chocolate over the strawberry. (He really is my kid). 


That's when the tough part started. He was hungry since he had been fasting since last night, so he was anxious to drink the "shake". As soon as he tasted it, he made a face and pulled away. I know how stubborn he can be (again, totally my kid), so I reminded him about our earlier conversation that he would have to drink the stuff so they could do his test, then I would buy him a cool prize. Bribery usually works really well for him (once again, definitely my kid). So he agreed to try again to drink it... he took a good sip, then the face came back. The doctor then told me he had to drink the whole cup... it's the typical styrofoam cup, I'm guessing 8 ounces or so. I knew then that it would never happen at this rate. So the doctor starts telling him that he has to drink it or they're going to have to put a tube down his throat to get the barium in his belly. I encouraged him to try to drink big sips to avoid this, held his nose for him, and away he went. He took a big drink, then proceeded to gag and vomit. I wiped his face, gave him a break for a minute and just talked to him, then had him try again. Big drink, gag, vomit. This happened 4 times in a row before the doctor talked to Tate about putting a tube in, explaining that then he wouldn't have to drink anymore. He agreed, then the doctor talked me off the ledge explained it to me. I wasn't excited about this, but she assured me that they did tubes often and he would be fine. She asked me a couple of times if I was comfortable with it, and I told her I trusted her instincts. 


So before they can do the tube, she gets a lidocaine gel and puts it in a syringe, shoots some in his nose, and has him sniff to numb his nose and passageways. He wasn't a big fan of this, and the doctor said it does sting quite a bit, but he did great. That's when she tried to start the tube. I say tried, because as soon as he realized what she was doing, he started struggling. I held his arms and spoke to him softly, attempting to calm him, bribe him more, whatever it took. He was screaming that it hurt and burned. I noticed that the tube didn't seem like it had gone very far in... that's when she said the tube got caught up and "hadn't made the turn" and that it was probably pretty painful. They finally pulled that one out, and I felt terrible when I saw blood on it. It didn't really surprise me, considering where it had been, and that it got stuck, but it made me so sad for him. At this point, he was crying and screaming that he just wanted to be done and go home. So did I. 


Then came the new tube. It looked like it was the same size, but what do I know? I was talking to Tate, and the doctors were trying to take a look at his insides with the big machine to see if they could see anything from what he had swallowed by mouth. It wasn't near enough, and during this time, I had gotten Tate to calm down quite a bit. He was still crying, but much quieter at this point. He had actually folded his hands behind his head. The doctor motioned for me to hold his hands where they were so she could try again with the tube. So I held his hands, then he saw the tube coming toward his face. At this point, he started screaming and crying again. He began to roll his head back and forth as fast and fiercely as he could to try to avoid the tube. I had to hold his hands with one hand and try to pin his head still with my other hand and arm. He looked so distraught. It was awful. I finally got his head still enough that she was able to get the tube started, and thankfully, this one went right down. They taped it to his face, and began to pump the barium through with a syringe. That's when I pretty much lost it. He was crying the whole time they were pumping in the barium... he just kept saying "Please take it out, please take it out!" It really broke my heart. I started crying with him (but I was kind enough to leave out the screaming). I pretty much cried with him til they were done. I usually hold it together pretty well for his tests, procedures... heck, I even did better than that for his eye removal surgery. But for all of you who have kids who have had health issues, you know how emotionally draining (and emotionally devastating) it can be to see them suffering. I just hope that today was the last test for a long time. It just sucks. 


Overall, our appointment that I was originally told would be 45 minutes turned into almost 4 hours. (After all, it took an hour just to be called in). As far as the test results, the only new news is that he also has reflux. Reflux is rotten enough, but apparently when the gastroparesis set in, it made the reflux a lot worse. She gave me some tips to help relieve the discomfort from the reflux, and I expect they'll put him back on the Nexium and maybe try the erythromycin again to see if the rash comes back. 


Tate ended up with a green Nano bug (his original prize request) and a Jack Russell Webkinz (the extra prize I offered him because I felt guilty). He's back to being himself, and this morning already feels like more of a memory than one of the toughest days we've had yet. 


So after my sob story pity party post, if you want to laugh, check out Patrice's newest post. The boys think they're famous now. :) 

busted

So last night, Todd and I had a much-anticipated, kid-free free evening with our Sunday school class from our church. It was SO much fun. I enjoy our Sunday school classes (partly due to having the best teacher ever), but we have such a fun group that we really enjoy doing things with them all outside of church also. I seriously wish we could do outings like that every weekend. Well, maybe minus the "getting our group activity shut down by the cops" part.... 


Ok, it wasn't really the cops, more like mall security. But we sound much cooler if you're not picturing us getting lectured by a little guy in a hat bigger than he is. So our evening began when we all met at the church and headed to dinner. We had a great time... I haven't laughed that much in a long time! My face literally hurt for most of the evening. After dinner, our fearless leaders told us the plan for the group activity. We were to meet at the mall, split into groups, and have a good old-fashioned scavenger hunt! 


So we headed to the mall, and gathered our nearly 20 people in a group right in front of a few cops. There were some jokes about one of us getting busted for a traffic violation. (Not that one of us committed a traffic violation, of course. Especially not on the way from the restaurant to the mall during our Sunday school class outing. Nope, that would never happen.) So we divided into teams, handed out the checklists, and my team left the other teams in the dust. We sent the guys on our team after an employment application and a disposable toilet seat cover, while we girls headed straight to a favorite store to see if we could score a shopping bag, one of the many items on our list. Well, we hit the jackpot. The manager asked what other items we needed... and she apparently really wanted us to win. After impatiently waiting for our team leader, Mitzi, to read random items off the list, she asked, "Got a minute?" and when we said yes, she took the list from Mitzi, and headed into the stockroom. We scored something in the neighborhood of 15 items from that super awesome lady, and we knew we had the win in the bag. I was disappointed to hear there's no trophy for the winners, but bragging rights go a long way in our class! 


As we waited for our favorite mall employee to gather a few more items from our list, Todd came in and said everyone was waiting outside for us... I told him we were kicking butt in the game, and they can keep waiting. That's when he said those words.... "We've been stopped by mall security. Scavenger hunts aren't allowed in the mall without permission." What??? So I responded the only way I could. "Whatever, they didn't say that. We'll be out in a couple minutes." He told me he was serious, and repeated that everyone was waiting in the hallway for us. "Yeah, right. I don't believe that. Scavenger hunts not allowed without permission? Ha! You're funny. Now go tell them we'll be out in a few minutes. We're busy winning!" Todd reiterated that he was dead serious. Scavenger hunts are not allowed in the mall. I recalled having scavenger hunts in the mall with my church youth group when I lived in California. They were so much fun! Party poopers. 


So we headed back to the group claiming our win as we approached them. We learned that one of the teams were stopped in their tracks before they ever made it out of the gate. We then decided to send our fearless leaders to the information desk to see if they could get said permission to continue our scavenger hunt. When they approached the desk and explained the situation, the information lady asked, "So, how many kids do you have with you?" Ha! But even as a group of mature (ok, so that's debatable) adults, the information lady didn't have the necessary authority to grant us permission to continue. Bummer. We were happy to have the win, and headed back to the church for ice cream social part of the evening. We enjoyed socializing, joking, and getting to know the group better. I really can't wait for the next event! 

drew carey, anyone?

Pardon the wonky eye, it was in upside down! And pardon the weird haze... it's so humid outside that my lens fogged up!!! The first two photos show the pair that Tate picked out... his new nickname is Drew Carey :) 

Ok, fixed the eye for this one. :) 

This is the pair that Mommy picked out... we went with one plastic frame and one metal frame. Handsome in both! 

Had to get that sweet smile. :) 

random

I'll start with an update on Tate's condition... he is off all 4 meds for now... not because he doesn't need them, but because he broke out in a rash all over his face and limbs on Sunday after church. I called the pediatrician's weekend clinic to see if they just wanted me to discontinue Tate's newest medicine, the erythromycin, assuming it was an allergic reaction. They asked me to go ahead and come in, they wanted to make sure Tate was in fact having an allergic reaction and not something different. Because his rash wasn't raised like hives/welts, and it wasn't itchy, the pediatrician didn't think it was an allergic reaction to his medication. He actually thought it was Fifth Disease, since they have seen some of that lately. The rash wasn't on his cheeks at that time, and that's usually one of the prominent places to see it, so he wasn't positive that's what it was either. So his instructions were to discontinue the erythromycin just in case, until we could talk to the pediatric GI doctor. Tate's rash was supposed to last 1 to 3 weeks if it was Fifth, but it's all but gone already. I'm supposed to call the GI nurse back when it's completely gone... we may give him another dose of erythromycin and see if the rash comes back. Seems like it's been one thing after another lately! We go in for an upper GI barium swallow on Tuesday morning... hopefully it'll be the last test for a while. The GI nurse told us to discontinue all meds for now. 


So yesterday, I took Tate to look for new glasses. His surgeon requested that we get a sturdier frame, and his pediatric opthamologist gave him a prescription for his left lens.... it's a minus lens (-3.00) that will make his left eye appear the same size as his right. The size is a lot closer since we got his eye adjusted, but it's still a little bigger, and if Mr Boyd takes off anymore, Tate's eyelid may start to droop. His right eye is still doing well and doesn't need a prescription.    


We've had some pretty warm weather around here lately, so the boys and I have been staying inside. So we're leaving yesterday to go get Tate's glasses, and as we step outside for the first time, Tate says "What is this? A desert?" We're super thankful for air conditioning these days, that's for sure. 


After a mere 2 and a half hours and a few potty breaks, we finally decided on 2 pairs of glasses for Tate... I picked one and he picked one. That's about the best compromise I seem to get with my stubborn sweet 5-year-old. I'll post some photos soon. We pick them up tonight!


Noah started a summer hip hop dance class at a local dance studio this week. He LOVED it. I've been telling him for a while now that I wanted him to take one to see if he liked it. He's always dancing around, making up moves, making up songs... I thought this would be a perfect fit for him. It's also cool to see him doing something that's just for him. It's not like church activities, camp, or soccer that all our boys do... it's something only for Noah. It's amazing to see how different the three boys are. And he's already told me that he wants to sign up for the class that runs through the school year, and I can't wait to see what he does with it. 

the almost tantrum

I called and left a message for the nurse at our Ped GI's office on Friday, just before lunch. I hadn't heard the results yet from Tate's gastric emptying study from Wednesday, and I don't like waiting over weekends. Well, let's be honest here. I don't like waiting at all. I've been waiting for test results more often lately, with Tate's CT scan, then 2 rounds of bloodwork, and now his gastric study. I was always half-panicked, but half-relieved when I didn't hear something right away. After all, no news is good news, right? And I was getting used to the standard call from a nurse saying "Just wanted to call and let you know that all the test results were normal". So when Dr G's nurse called me back on Friday, I was expecting just that. I knew they had the information by Thursday, so I figured they would have called right away if there were a problem. So she said "Just wanted to call and let you know that Tate's gastric study results came back abnormal." Wait... what? Abnormal? She proceeded to tell me that's all she could tell me at the moment, until they heard further from the doctor. She didn't want me to have to wait over the weekend to hear about the results. She said the doctor would likely put him on a new medication. I asked her if we need to keep him on his current medications or discontinue immediately. She said keep him on them until we hear otherwise from the doctor. Then she told me that she'd hopefully call me back that day, but if not, she is on vacation on Monday and Tuesday, so I'd hear from her on Wednesday. I explained that I really hoped to hear from her that day, because I'm not so great at waiting. She promised me that she would ask the doctor to have one of the other nurses call me on Monday if we had to wait through the weekend. 


Tate had his checkup with his Pediatric Opthamologist just a couple of hours later at the hospital, and for a moment, I panicked that I might miss the call back from the nurse.... then I realized I'd be in the same hospital, and I was really interested in getting more information on Tate's condition right away. So I decided a little ambush might be in order. All I needed was a little encouragement from Todd and a couple of friends that it was a good plan, and soon enough I decided I would just go for it. All they could do was turn me away, right? So after a good checkup from the eye doctor, then ordering Tate a new pair of glasses (more on that later!), I decided to head up to the pediatric floor. I let the girl at the desk know that I had been waiting on a call back from the nurse, but found myself in the hospital most of the afternoon, so instead of taking a chance of missing her call by the time I got home, I thought I'd just stop by and see if she had a minute. I apologized for being a bit unorthodox, and thanked her. So the nurse came out to see me, and after a couple of minutes of chit chat, I asked her to explain what was going on with Tate. She said that his stomach isn't digesting food like it's supposed to. The muscles don't contract like they should. After a little researching at home, I learned this is called Gastroparesis (in layman's terms, it's "lazy stomach"). It's not an unusual condition, but there's no "fix" for it. It can vary in severity, from mild problems with upset stomach to a need for a feeding tube in more unusual cases. They started him on erythromycin, which is basically an old-timey antibiotic. (The pharmacy I use didn't have it, which I didn't know until I got there, and the pharmacist called about 15 pharmacies before finding it, which ended up being the pharmacy back at the hospital!). I've since read that erythromycin doesn't really help this condition. I'm hoping that's not the case for Tate. The nurse gave me some generic diet information to guide us, but after reading it, we realized it doesn't all apply to Tate (one of the steps was a completely liquid diet), so we don't really know which part we're supposed to do. Google and I have become BFFs lately, so from what we've read about Gastroparesis, we will be feeding Tate smaller, more frequent meals (what we all should be doing anyway!) and try to stick with things that are easier to digest. If anyone has any recommendations on a juicer (that won't break the bank), that's something we're considering as well to make sure we can still get veggies in. 


So it's been a stressful week, and I've been in the hospital with Tate 3 out of 4 days this week, so I was a bit down last night. I was feeling sorry for Tate, feeling sorry for myself, and wondering why the kid who just had to have his eye removed now has to deal with stomach issues that make him vomit all the time. I am very aware that it could be worse, and I definitely know that in the grand scheme of things, this just isn't a big deal, but at this point, I just felt like he's dealt with enough. And been a super brave kid the whole way through! I was on the verge of throwing a tantrum, a kicking, screaming "it-really-sucks-and-it's-not-fair!" type tantrum. But then today, I got something from a friend. I got perspective. My dear friend Patrice has a sweet little boy named Jonah. Jonah has EB. I've talked about them before, and her blog is linked on mine, so you may have read their story. She posted about Tripp, another little boy who has EB. Tripp's condition has been worsening over time, and his mom, Courtney, wrote a tear-jerking poem about Tripp. You can read it here, but have your tissues ready. (Consider yourself warned.) I realized when I read it (not that I've never realized before, but sometimes you just need a reminder, you know?) that God has given us so much when he gave us Tate. He has given us happiness, laughter, hope and a renewed faith in Him. Tate's journey has brought me closer to God than I've ever been. And it really could be so much worse. So just as we developed a "new normal" with Tate's PHPV, we'll develop a "new normal" with his Gastroparesis. He'll be ok. We'll be ok. And I'm thankful. 


Thank you for all of your prayers for Tate. Please be in prayer for Tripp and his sweet mom, Courtney. 

updating...

It's been crazy as ever around here (um, weren't things supposed to calm down after I quit my full-time job???) so I will try to catch you up once again! We saw Dr G, a pediatric GI doctor at Brenner's Children's Hospital (part of Baptist). He asked a lot of questions (some of them twice) about Tate's tummy issues. He has tentatively diagnosed Tate with Cyclic Vomiting Syndrome. That basically means that he'll randomly and frequently throw up until he's a teenager, at which time he'll grow out of CVS and it will become migraines. There is family history of migraines (I've had them pretty severely since I was a teenager), and it's all related. I'll tell you what I don't like about the CVS diagnosis... there's no way to know for sure that's what it is. It's basically a "Well, we've ruled everything else out, so it must be Cyclic Vomiting Syndrome" sort of diagnosis. I am not a fan. Isn't there a test they can run to confirm? Nope. So he gave us some meds (3 to be exact.... one for nausea, one for acid, and one to directly treat the CVS), and he said this (meaning the med for the CVS) will fix it if it's CVS. I am the type of girl who won't take Tylenol unless I feel like I'm gonna die, so I'm not super happy about my 5 year old being on 3 meds indefinitely. But we figured we'd try it and see if it even worked before we make any big decisions. They also sent Tate for yet more bloodwork... I'm afraid he's going to start having track marks at the rate he's going. Good times. 


Did I mention that the appointment with the Ped GI was on the last day of my insurance with US Airways? Boy, did I find a great time to quit my job or what? I wouldn't be surprised if the folks at the pharmacy are still confused. We went ahead and filled 2 of the 3 prescriptions that day, but the insurance was giving us a hard time about the Nexium. I hear it's expensive. So I was like, "No worries, our insurance changes tomorrow, so we'll have to start over anyway." We were able to finally able to get the Nexium filled, and even the co-pay was high... we're thankful for insurance! 


Dr G set Tate up for a gastric study to make sure that what he has isn't "lazy stomach" (that's obviously not the technical term, however, it is the one that I can remember). I'm about to get detailed, so if you have a weak stomach, I suggest you skip to the next paragraph. Apparently, it's not normal that he's vomiting undigested food (aka chunks) several hours (like 8 or more) after eating. He said that the food should be digested at that point (within 4 hours of eating it), and that we shouldn't be able to recognize what his last meal was. (Ahem. I warned you). So that's what the study is for.... to give him food with dye in it, then track it for 4 hours to make sure it's going where it's supposed to go. 


Tate started taking the meds and hadn't thrown up in 2 1/2 weeks. Until today. Incidentally, today was also the day of his gastric study. We woke up to him getting sick in the hallway (blech!) at 5am, and he kept it up periodically until our drive to the hospital at 9am. I'm glad I had thought to bring a towel in the car. Although at that point, he was pretty much just dry-heaving. It's so heartbreaking to be watching your little boy in the rearview mirror as he dry-heaves, and his face turns so red because he can't get a breath. I nearly pulled over on the side of the road, but by the time I had a chance, the tough part had passed. We got to the hospital at 930am, and they let us know that they would feed him a scrambled egg with radioactive stuff in it (again, not a fan), then they would take pictures of his tummy after he ate, then after 30 minutes, then an hour, then every hour after that until 210pm. I began texting and requesting on facebook that everyone would pray that he would keep the radioactive eggs down, because if he threw up again, the study would be over and we'd have to reschedule. He was tired, cranky, and not feeling well, but we made it through the whole thing (a little bribery goes a long way) and he did great overall. We'll get results hopefully by Friday. I'm anxious to hear it, as I'm a little skeptical to the CVS diagnosis, not only because they can't absolutely confirm it, but because the meds may not be working as well as we thought. Please pray that we get definitive answers. I really want my boy to feel good. He's been through enough already. 

As always, thank you for all the prayers! We really love you guys. 

silly kid

So as I previously mentioned, Jake and Noah are at their grandma's (Todd's mom) house this week. I had been so excited to have a kid-free week to get some things done around here, and was glad that it coincided with my last day of work (today!), so I'd have some free time. I knew that with Tate home, it would take a little longer to get things done, but I was optimistic when he said he wanted to help. My big goal this week is decluttering. But first, I've been just doing general cleaning, so I can get to the stuff that needs to be decluttered. So I decided that if Tate wanted to help, then I'd take advantage of that, and have him take things to different rooms for me. I had him running things to his bedroom and to his brothers' bedroom, and occasionally, he took something downstairs for me. I was happy with the progress we were making, and he was taking plenty of breaks for breakfast and lunch and to watch his Scooby Doo and Ice Age movies. After one of his little trips to take some things to his room, he came in and announced, "Mommy, I think I'm the only one actually cleaning around here." All I can say is, he's lucky he's cute. :) 

catching up...

Sorry I've been MIA.... things have been crazier than usual over the last couple of weeks! A lot has been going on, let me catch you up.... 


So, I quit my job. As in, my full-time job at the airlines. I couldn't keep up with my job and my business and actually ever see my family, and that just wasn't working for me. I caught a glimpse of Todd a couple of times over the last few months... he looked familiar, but it took me a while to realize who he was. I'm kidding of course (sort of), but that's pretty much how I'd been feeling. I hated that the moment the boys got home from school, I'd get them a snack then say "Ok, Mommy is going upstairs to nap/edit/pay bills, so don't bother me unless someone is bleeding or unconscious." So something had to give. It obviously wasn't going to be my photography business.... after all, that's my passion. That's what I've worked hard for over the last few years. It's what I love to do... and they say that when you love what you do, you don't work a day in your life. And hey, who's a better boss for me than me? Yep, that's what I thought, too. So my last day at the airlines is Monday... and I can't wait. 


A couple of weeks ago on Friday, Tate woke up vomiting. He was sick a few times until he was just dry heaving. It was pitiful. He went back to sleep eventually, then was fine the rest of the day... keeping down food and liquids with no problem. Then the next morning, on Saturday, he was vomiting before he even got breakfast. He missed his last soccer game of the season that day, as well as the coaches taking all the kids out for ice cream afterwards... I was sad for him that he had to miss that. He was pretty worn out for the first half of the day, then he was fine. Then on Tuesday last week, exactly 15 minutes before we were leaving for the airport to head to Niagara Falls for a few days ("last hurrah" trip before I quit my airline job :), Tate came to me and told me he felt sick. I asked him if he was going to throw up, he said he thought so. So I grabbed him a plastic grocery bag that was right next to me, and he said he wanted a towel (we lay him on a big towel when he's sleeping when he's sick, just in case). So I grabbed him an old hand towel that was in the drawer next to me... obviously not taking him seriously enough. He said "Mommy, I said I wanted a towel"... I told him that it was a towel, and that it was just an old towel. Then he proceeded to throw up all over the floor (thank goodness it wasn't on carpet!), and I realized that he must have been requesting a beach towel... in the towel-for-two variety. He became VERY pale, as in the same pale that he was when he passed out at the doctor's office at his post-surgery checkup. He got very dark circles around his eyes. It really scared me. We got him to the couch and laid him down, gave him some water to sip on, and went back to clean up the mess. He was asleep in no time... the kind of slumber that I only dream of. He was carried to the car, driven over an hour to the airport, carried on to the shuttle bus, and into the airport before he was awake again. Yes, I was worried about continuing the trip after he had gotten sick again, but with a split second to make the decision, I figured we'd at least head to the airport and see how things went. 


The trip was great. Tate did well for the whole mini-vacation. He didn't throw up anymore, and he only complained of his tummy hurting a few times the whole trip. So we thought it was odd, but that he was ok. So we were home on Friday, then on Sunday, he threw up before we ever made it out the door for church. Now I'm worried. I was trying to figure out what was going on, and a friend told me to ask him if his head had been feeling funny before he got sick. He said "No Mommy, it doesn't feel funny, it just hurts!" Yep, that's my kid... the non-complaining, gotta-drag-it-out-of-him kid. I asked him if his head had been hurting every time he had been sick, he said yes. Cue the call to the pediatrician. They were able to get me in at 3pm that day, so I took it. The doctor was as concerned as I was, that 9 days of sporadic vomiting was not normal. She said she had no idea what was causing it before running some tests, but she was determined to figure it out. Because of Tate complaining of headaches, she wanted to start with a CT scan. 


So on Monday, I waited impatiently for someone to call about setting up the appointment for the CT. I tried calling them to check on the status of getting my appointment set up, but let's just say that call didn't get me anywhere. The next day was the much-anticipated Fake Eye Adjustment Day. We had been "worked in" for that appointment, so I didn't want to cancel or postpone it, so we planned to still head to Burlington, and work in the CT scan as soon as we could. So on Tuesday, Tate woke up around 4am vomiting. At this point, I was pretty much in tears. All I could do was hold him while he dry-heaved and had trouble even catching his breath. It was so pitiful. It lasted a couple of hours on and off, then we got maybe an hour of sleep before it was time to get up and head to Burlington for the day. We had a 10am appointment time and the appointment was expected to last a half day. His eye looks FANTASTIC, and we are so happy with it. The ocularist just shaved off around the outside edge where there was too much white and shaped it to fit better over his implant. It's really amazing what can be done these days. So while we're at that appointment, the hospital calls and says that we can come straight to the hospital to have the CT scan done when we get back from Burlington. 


So we leave the ocularist's office promptly at 2pm and head back towards home. We go straight to the hospital and find Outpatient Radiology. We had forgotten til we got there that Tate was supposed to have his prosthesis out for the CT. Oops. We don't have our cool little suction-cup-on-a-stick. So we're thinking no big deal, we'll just pull his lid down, tilt the eye a little til we can grab the edge, and pull it out. Right?? So after Todd's unsuccessful attempt (only successful at making Tate cry), Tate says he wants Mommy to take it out. So when I realized I couldn't get the right angle with him sitting up, I have him lay down on the little couch in the waiting room. I'm leaning over him, one knee on the other side of his legs, digging my Purelled finger into his eye socket while he cries that I'm hurting him. Keep in mind that I'm pretty sure no one in the waiting room knows that Tate's eye is fake. So I gave up and instead, I sat and waited for someone to call DSS on us while Todd went up to the eye center and borrowed the infamous (and much coveted) Suction-Cup-on-a-Stick. By that time, I was taken to a little "booth" to go over what was going to happen during our visit. I had no idea that Tate was getting an IV that day. Poor kid had already had such a rough day, so when the nurse came in with that needle, he totally melted down. He cried like I hadn't heard him cry in a long time. A hurt cry, a sad cry. It broke my heart. He's had IVs before and always done really well with them, but I think after the long day he'd had, he was just done. It took me a while to get him settled down for the scan... after all, he had to stay perfectly still... but he did fantastic. 


The results of the CT came back normal, so we did blood work next. Tate didn't flinch, didn't bat an eye, didn't even squeeze my hand when he had 3 viles of blood taken on Wednesday. He really is such a brave boy. I am really proud of him! The doctor ordered the bloodwork and is referring us to a pediatric GI doctor. We'll see him next Thursday. The lab results came back today on the bloodwork and everything looked normal. So there is no indication of an ulcer, inflammation of the intestines, colitis, or any of the other things the doctor rattled off today. So... we wait. (I should be used to waiting by now, but I'm really, really terrible at it.) 


Can I just say that it's really difficult to take your kid anywhere when you're not sure if he might throw up with no warning? Especially places like restaurants, pools, even Target. I do have plastic grocery bags in my purse and car at all times now. You never know when you might need one! 


Jake and Noah are going to Grandma's house this week. Tate was supposed to go, but he has to stay here for his doctor's appointments... that, and I'm not mean enough to send him to someone else's house for a week when he's randomly throwing up.... after all, I LIKE my mother-in-law! So Tate will miss his big brothers something fierce, but I couldn't cancel the trip for the boys to go... they would have been really disappointed. I'm sure they'll have a great time... they always do so much fun stuff with Grandma, they never want to come home! I'll miss them tons, and my To Do list will grow instead of shrink, since I'll be the only human entertainment for the 5-year-old for the week, but it's all good. I think we're going to have to enjoy some Mommy-Tate time this week. I can't think of a better way to spend my time! 

What? You did want a picture, right? 

first eye adjustment, coming right up!

Tate LOVES his new eye. He has gotten used to it quicker than I ever imagined. We have only taken it out once, and it doesn't bother him at all. We are so happy with it! 


If you've seen my previous post about "The Making of Tate's Prosthetic Eye", I mentioned that we would let it "settle", then call our ocularist to have any needed adjustments made. Well, the time has finally come. The surgeon, upon follow-up of Tate receiving his new eye, recommended that we give it several weeks so we can keep any necessary adjustments to a minimum. So I called last week, and we have an appointment with our ocularist for June 21st. It'll be another all-day trip. It's over an hour away, and the appointment is expected to take at least a half-day (that's if he doesn't need to make any painting adjustments). And we can't go all the way there without making time for the nearby outlet mall... for Tate's prize, of course. :) 


So I'm including a "Before" shot. You can see that the left (prosthetic) eye is larger than the right eye. I believe that he'll be trimming down the white of the eye underneath the iris and along the outside of the left eye. I can't wait to see how it looks after the adjustment! The prosthetic eye looks very real... so much so that I find that when I'm making eye contact with Tate as I'm talking with him, I'm often looking at his prosthetic eye. I wonder if he thinks I don't bother looking at him when I'm talking to him. My prayer is that once the adjustment is made, no one will be able to tell that he has a prosthetic... although I don't believe many people realize it now, but I think many notice that something is amiss. I'm hoping the adjustment fixes that! I'll be taking my camera with me for the adjustment, so as always, I'll keep you posted! 

5 years old

Dear Tate, 
This day seemed so far away. You're 5 years old today. It's the "official" big boy age. You'll be in kindergarten in a few short months, and I'll no longer be able to be with you all the time to shield you from this world we live in. But remember this, my sweet boy... I'll always love you and protect you. God put me here to be your mommy, to raise you to be a follower of Jesus, and to teach you to be kind to everyone you meet. I'm far from being a perfect mom, but I hope that I make Him proud. 


I know that it's been a rocky road in your short years, but you have been such a great example of strength and courage. I know that you make God proud. And you definitely make Mommy and Daddy proud, son. You are only 5 years old, and I know for a fact that you have had a big impact on many, many lives because of the tough little guy you've been through your journey. You're an example to people of all ages. I know that because of your strength, that you've lent that strength to others when they need it, been an encouragement to them when they were facing a journey of their own, and all the while, riding your own roller coaster with almost no complaint. You've been an example to ME, Tate. You've taught me how to tough it out when things seem too difficult, and you've taught me that God only gives us what we can handle, and He gives us the tools we need to get through it. And above all, your journey has brought me closer to our awesome God. Thank you for that, sweet boy. God is using you in amazing ways!


This past year has been a bit more eventful than I had imagined, but you've amazed me during every step of the way. Thank you for helping me see the humor in everything. Spending time with you is pure joy. I love seeing the world through your eyes. At your birthday party yesterday, you were giggling so much with every birthday card you opened. You absolutely loved the cards that people picked out for you. I have never seen a child appreciate a simple card (ok, so they did have some pretty funny faces on them!) so much. I loved hearing your laughter as you opened each one. I'll never forget that, Tate. 


I look forward to watching you grow over the next year, and to see your personality develop even more. You have changed so much since your surgery... you are becoming such a sweet and happy little boy. I am so excited for you and the wonderful future that God has planned for you. Happy 5th birthday, Tate. Mommy and Daddy love you very much! 

overdue

So my spaced-decades-apart blog postings aren't exactly living up to my blog title, eh? Can't exactly call them constant these days unless I rename it Jenn's Constant Whining. I know there are several of you who know me well, and are snickering to yourself as you read that. Mostly because it's so undeniably appropriate.


I do believe I'm more ready for summer to be here than my kids are... not for summer itself (I'm not a fan of 90 degree days), but for them to be out of school! I can't wait to sleep in past 7am and not run back and forth between the preschool and the elementary school every day for dropoff and pickup. And I can't wait to spend our summer days relaxing at the pool and the beach. On the other hand, I can't believe this school year is over already... I'll have a 5th grader soon (I'm not that old, am I??). I'm so proud of Jake, and he's doing a great job paving the way for his brothers. And Noah has made the AG (Academically Gifted) program at school, making me a proud mama there too! Noah is the "crazy middle child", so we were happy to hear that he must pay attention at some point. :) And Tate.... he will be FIVE YEARS OLD on Sunday! I am in shock. I know they grow up, but this year has held so much for him... kinda makes it feel like a bigger milestone than usual. He'll be a big-boy kindergartner in a few short months, and I'm sure I'll miss him like crazy. So I plan to cherish every moment I have with my boys this summer. 


Tate is having a luau-themed pool party for his birthday. I know, not very original for a summer birthday, but it works, and he loves it! My dear friend, Kim, has been sweet enough to let Tate pick out some decorations and other items for his party and ordered them for him from Oriental Trading Company. I think she was worried that if they waited on me and my crazy schedule, Tate wouldn't have his pool party until November. I haven't been great at posting photos (I know, you're still waiting on me to post photos from our trip to California in March!), but I will definitely have my camera with me for his party, and will get some posted for you! 


So I mentioned my dear friend Kim... what I didn't mention is that she's Tate's girlfriend. At least he thinks so! I've never seen any of my boys act like that with someone before... he absolutely adores her! He follows her around, cuddles up with her to watch tv or hang out at the pool... it's SO cute. A couple of weeks ago, Tate was in the dining room, checking out all the cool goodies that Miss Kim got him for his birthday party, and she walked in to the living room, in an attempt to wake up her own sleepy boys, she said "Ok, who's going home with me?" In a lightning-fast reaction, we hear Tate yell "ME!!!" from 2 rooms away, and the little stinker runs into the living room, practically tripping over his own feet, just trying to get there fast enough. Seriously. Cutest thing ever. I'm sure that if Kim was 5 years old, they'd be engaged by now. 


We've been hanging out at the pool quite a bit already this summer (did I mention the 90+ degree days?!?). We were told by Tate's ocularist that we need to either take Tate's eye out or make him wear goggles when he goes swimming. So I gave Tate the choice, and of course, he chose goggles. So as we were at the pool that first day, all the boys were all sunscreened and Tate had his water wings on. His big brothers were already in the pool, and they were distracting him. I had asked him to come get his goggles on, and he kept wandering toward the pool steps. I called him again, and his big brothers won again in the attention-getting competition. Finally, I said "Tate Alexander! Get over here and put your goggles on or I'm taking your eye out!!!" And then.... I laughed. I don't know if I laughed because of what it would have sounded like if anyone had been around to hear it, or if they were just words that seemed really... wrong. But either way, it struck me as funny. Certainly not words I ever imagined saying to any of my kids! But he put his goggles on. Whatever works.  

stuff

Ok, first of all, the Knuckleheads Clothing contest is over. They had to end it abruptly at 240am this morning because it was brought to their attention that certain types of contests are not allowed on facebook... like asking fans to "like" a photo in order to vote for something. Apparently their page could be deleted if abuse was reported. I didn't bother to read the rules even though they linked it on their page. I'm sure they wouldn't have done that if it weren't true. Am I frustrated that I was involved in their first (assumption, but pretty sure I'm right) model search and it was a disaster? Absolutely. Is my heart broken a little because I thought my kid had a pretty darn good chance of winning, and he didn't get a real opportunity? Definitely. Am I going to enter their next model search that they plan to hold every 6 months? I really don't know. Tate kept saying he was going to be a model, so I'm glad I got some Knuckleheads things recently for Tate's upcoming 5th birthday (only 3 weeks away!) during the Knuckleheads zulily promotion. I'm going to take him on his own little photo session in his new Knuckleheads duds and let him be a model for all of you. :) As far as entering their next model search contest, I guess only time will tell. Honestly, I think that they have learned a LOT from this contest, and that it will run much more smoothly next time... the biggest thing that would hold me back is that if they do a poll vote, I don't want to have to go back to the same people and ask for their votes again. I feel terrible that this contest was such a mess, and so many people tried to help, but it ended up being a waste of time. I sincerely appreciate each and every one of you who voted for Tate and helped try to bring him more votes! You guys really are the best! 


And speaking of voting and reposting.... I will be printing out a HUGE list of names soon of voters and re-posters, hopefully tomorrow! Tate will be drawing 2 lucky winners who will receive a free session and print package! That's just my way of saying thank you for all the support! (ok, it was a bribe, let's just call it what it is. :) 


So my funny guy Tate was asking me recently to cuddle up in the bed with him and watch cartoons. We were on our way out the door to take him to preschool, so I suggested that we should do that after I picked him up from school that day. He agreed, so I said "Ok buddy, it's a date!" He replied, "Mommy! I'm not old enough to date!" 


I have been so incredibly busy lately... working full-time and running a photography business is time-consuming. I really miss my family. I work nights, get to bed around 4am, get up at 7am to take the kiddos to school, then come back and get Tate ready for preschool. He only goes from 9am-noon 4 days a week. So in that time I'm usually attempting to take a nap (but I usually get distracted by balancing the checkbook or paying bills or, I don't know... shiny things.) Then I pick Tate up, bring him home to eat lunch, he plays for a bit while I try to get some photo editing done, then we go pick the big boys up. Since I'm typically unsuccessful with a nap in the morning, I make attempt #2 to take a nap in the afternoon, before I go into work at 6pm. Todd and I are basically 2 single parents parenting the same kids on opposite shifts these days. Time management has never been my strong suit anyway, so that probably doesn't help. On my days off, I'm constantly working on my photography business... shooting, editing, returning calls, etc. I would give my left arm to have a clean house, a night off, and be caught up on editing so that I can simply sit down with Todd and watch TV for an hour after the kids go to bed. I don't even know what's on any more. I haven't turned on my TV for myself in months. But I'd still give my left arm for it. I'm struggling with making a big decision pertaining to my insane schedule, and I'd really appreciate prayers.... specifically for wisdom and guidance. And maybe a billboard (I'm not very good with signs). Or a 2x4 upside the head would work too. You know, something I can't miss. Anyway, all that to say that if you call me, email me, or facebook me and I don't respond for a while, it's not because I don't like you or want to talk to you... it's because I don't have time for you. :) But seriously, I miss my friends and I do want to hear from you... don't give up on me. I appreciate your patience! 


I need to get up early tomorrow for a morning photo session, so I better close this out now. My goal for this week is to finally dump the photos to my computer from our trip to California at the end of March. (I know, I know! Patience, remember?) When I get that done, I'll post some for you. Good night! 

Round 2 of the Model Search! We made it!

I was literally tearing up at the sight of the list of names of people who voted for my sweet boy during Round 1 of the Knuckleheads Clothing Model/Photographer Search. Yes, I'm a dork, but I'm serious. It means SO much to me to have your support, not just for this, but over the last several months. It's awesome to know that there are people out there who love my little guy so much! The fantastic news - Your votes got us through to Round 2! So here we go again, right? :) Well, the good news is that although we need you to vote again, I'm sweetening the pot! I'm happy to give away a photo session and print package ($261 value) for every 75 votes that Tate gets for this contest! So far, that will be at least 2 packages to give away! We need lots more votes though! He needs to be in the top 5 to continue to the third and final round. (In other good news, we won't need your votes for that one. :) The winner will be chosen from the Top 5 by Knuckleheads staff). At last check, we were tied for 7th. So PLEASE, go vote! 


Step 1: Go to the Knuckleheads Clothing page and click "Like" (if you haven't already!)


Step 2: Go here and click Like.


Seriously, that's all I have to do to be entered in your amazing photography giveaway, you ask? Yep, that's it! And for FIVE BONUS ENTRIES, just copy and paste the link to his photo (the second link here) on your own facebook page and when the little box pops up for you to write in, leave instructions on voting (Like Knuckleheads Clothing first, then click on the photo of Tate to make it bigger and click Like! 


BONUS GIVEAWAY: Knuckleheads Clothing is giving away a $100 gift certificate to one lucky voter! 


So what are you waiting for? Get out there and VOTE AND REPOST! 


THANK YOU!!! 


*Voting ends at noon EST on Monday.
*Photography prize is transferable. No cash value. 
*Photography prize includes a free one hour session, 2 8x10s, 4 5x7s, and 10 4x6s. 

Vote for Tate in the Knuckleheads Model Search!

It's voting week, apparently. Sorry about that. All for good causes though! In our case, that would be a bunch of new clothes from Knuckleheads Clothing for Tate! They are looking for a model/photographer combo... a super cute kid with lots of personality, and a mama who can take great photos of him! So you KNOW I'm in! Tate has a couple of things from Knuckleheads and loves them, so this is a great way to get him more without breaking the bank! And it would be super fun to get to photograph my super adorable kid and have it published. :) So that brings me to you. Begging. Yes, seriously. If you're on facebook, go "like" the Knuckleheads Clothing page. Then follow this link to Tate's photo on their page and click "like". That's it. Easy peasy. And it would mean the world to Tate. At last check, we're holding 7th place out of 425 entries! But every vote counts, and there are lots of entries that are RIGHT on our heels. So please go vote! Voting ends May 11th, then the top 10 entrants with the most "likes" on their photos goes to round 2, which is where the Knuckleheads staff will narrow the finalists to 3! Then each of the 3 will submit one more photo, and the winner will be chosen. We appreciate your effort! Thanks so much! 

Here's a peek at the photo I entered.... 

(Side note: I have some cute photos of him in one of his fedoras from Knuckleheads and was going to enter those, until I realized that he only had one eye back then. I wasn't sure if he'd get a modeling job by me saying "No worries, he has 2 eyes now, and they look pretty close to alike!" So yeah, he only had one eye in this one too, but with that super cute big grin, his eyes scrunch up so you can't tell anyway. It's all good.)

Patrice for Mother of the Year! Please read her story and vote!

So I know I'm WAAAAYYYYY behind on blogging. I've been super crazy busy lately (more on that later), but I wanted to take a minute to tell you about my dear friend, Patrice. Her blog link is at the top of my blog, so I know many of you already know about her. Her little boy, Jonah, has EB (Epidermolysis Bullosa), which is a very rare skin disease that causes his skin to blister and slough off with even the slightest friction (think about how often babies rub their faces, or when they scratch when their skin itches). He requires constant care, including a bath and full-body dressing change every day, which takes hours to complete, and is often painful for Jonah. They can't be out when it's too hot (75 and sunny), as it will irritate his skin, so they are often housebound. He requires tube feedings most days, as his mouth and throat blisters, so that it can be painful for him to eat food by mouth. Jonah is a champ though, and the cutest little guy ever. He gets his strength from his amazing mom, and she gives all credit and glory to God. She is the most fantastic mom I know, and although she has given up her job and "normal" life to give constant care and love to her sweet boy, she knows that she is the one blessed to be chosen by God to be his mommy. 


All that to say, she has been nominated and chosen as a Top Ten Finalist for a Mother of the Year contest in a local organization. She definitely deserves this honor (although she would tell you she doesn't, and that she only does what any mom in her position would do), but I would ask that you go vote for her! There is a fantastic prize package up for grabs, and she would thoroughly enjoy it and appreciate it!  You can check out her blog here and her family's story here.  Please go to this link to vote for this very deserving friend of mine, Patrice Williams! 

showing off

Besides the thousands of dollars in medical bills, we spend a lot of money on other things for Tate... like on his sunglasses (more than we ever have on our own!). Granted, I usually find whatever is $10 or less for myself because I know it's only a matter of time until they're sat on or one of the arms is broken off when the kids are playing dress up with them.

Anyway, at our checkup with our surgeon a couple of weeks ago, he told us that we need to get more sturdy frames and thicker lenses for Tate's regular glasses since they're for protection. But we're not supposed to do that until we see the ocularist again for an adjustment on his prosthesis, so the doc can prescribe a "minus" lens to make his fake eye look like it's the same size as his real eye when he wears his glasses. We're not heading back to the ocularist for at least another month, so the eye can "settle" more, so the adjustment will be more accurate. So in the meantime, we decided it was time to go buy him another (larger) pair of good sunglasses again. We really like Julbo brand. They're very well built, and Tate loves the designs. They're about $40, so we keep a good eye on him when he's wearing them so he doesn't scratch, break, or lose them. He's pretty good with his glasses now, so hopefully we'll have these for a long time. $40 isn't a huge amount (and worth every penny for his protection), but considering we get the 2 for $6 special at Children's Place for the other boys, this is always a big event when we "upgrade" his sunglasses.

He chose these himself.... and I'm pretty sure that only a kid as cool as Tate can pull off this look. I was happy that he found some that he'll wear...  if he'll wear them, I'll buy them. When I was pulling up a couple of photos for the blog today, I said playfully to Tate "Hey, Tate, who is in this photo?" He said excitedly, "That's me!" I said "It is???" He replied, "Yes!! I can tell by the shirt and glasses!" Well, apparently, we'll have to hang on to the shirt and glasses forever. I'd be worried otherwise.

first time for everything

We went to Walmart for some grocery shopping tonight, and Tate wasn't exactly on his best behavior. In his defense, he was probably pretty tired, as we'd had a long day, but nevertheless, misbehaving children don't get to buy the new Hot Wheels car they hand-picked. Of course, this denial-of-prize was followed with one of the worst tantrums he's thrown since his surgery. It's hard to believe that tantrums like this were a daily occurrence pre-op. I really am not sure how I dealt with it for so long without completely losing my mind. Or maybe I did lose my mind. Or maybe my mind just stepped away from the situation for a bit and went out for a drink. Yep, I think that's it. I went to my happy place (not literally of course, no need to call DSS and tell them I abandoned my child). But somehow, Tate and I both made it through all those kicking, screaming tantrums. 


You know how they say that different kids have different personalities, even when they're related, raised together by the same parents, etc, etc? I never had the issues with Jake and Noah that I have with Tate. They were disciplined, but they obeyed well, and usually taking away a privilege or a toy was enough to make my point and get them to behave. Then came Tate. As he grew up and became more strong-willed and stubborn, I thought This one is my challenge. This one is going to be my willful (and incidently, last!) child. I really just thought he was a brat.... as in, that was his personality - BRAT. I never realized how much pain he was in until it was gone (I don't think he did either). I know I've said it before, but he really has completely changed since his surgery, and it gets better every day. EVERYONE has noticed it... everyone who spends any time with him has commented on how happy he is now. Days like today... (actually, I should say tonight, because I had the boys out ALL DAY, and they all did really well until tonight....) are few and far between. I think what's left of the tantrums and behavior issues are just him being 4 years old, and we'll keep working on discipline for that. But I'm so glad that it's so infrequent now. He's a sweet kid with a smile and a hug for all his friends and family, and that's the boy I always knew hoped was under that brat exterior.


So yeah, I have a point to my long-winded story. At some point during Tate's tantrum in the car on the way home from Walmart (did I mention I am glad he saved it for the car instead of the store, so I could avoid getting those stares from people?) he was crying a lot and must have rubbed his eye. Yeah, the fake one. So when we got home, I was holding him and talking to him about his terrible behavior while we were out. I kept getting distracted during our conversation by his "crazy eye". I wasn't sure why it was crazy, but it sure as heck didn't look right. So I laid him down on the couch and turned the light on. I pulled up his top eyelid... no red dot. Uh oh. You may remember from a previous post that dot marks the top of his eye so we know how to put it in correctly. So I pull his lower lid down. Yep, red dot. So I tell Todd.... Um, honey, Tate's eye is upside down. (There are certain things you never thought you'd have to say, that would be one of them.) So we take him upstairs to get our fancy suction-cup-on-a-stick to attempt to take his eye out for the first time. 


Now, you've had the backstory... you do realize that this means that he's not exactly cooperative to the phrase Tate, we're just going to take your eye out because it's upside down. We'll clean it and put it right back in, ok? Yeah, notsomuch. He starts crying (without the kicking this time, thank goodness) but we can't exactly take his eye out with him fighting us and flailing his arms all around. Maybe when we're better at it, but remember, this is the first time. We try distracting him, being silly, giving him his stuffed animals to keep his hands busy, all to no avail. I told Todd that we needed to pray. That was all I could think of... that we needed to pray for him to be calm and to know that he wouldn't have pain, and that we were doing what was best for him. He really calmed down after we prayed, and with very little struggle from Tate, we got his eye out. I really expected to hear a POP! sound, but it didn't happen (yeah, I was a little bummed about that). I washed his eye while Todd comforted him, put some mineral oil on it, and after a few minutes of talking to him about it, promising him the car that he didn't get tonight, a bowl of popcorn and a family movie (hey, don't judge, you do what you gotta do when your kid needs his eye put back in), he agreed to let me put it back in. So all is well, we got over the obstacle that we were nervous about, and we all survived it. :)  


Sorry I don't have any photos, I kinda had my hands full. Photos soon, though, I promise. I will hopefully have some to share soon from our trip to California earlier this week. We had a nice little 3 day mini-vacation for the boys' spring break, and let me tell ya, it was just what the doctor ordered.