a glimpse of our new normal

When I heard about a local family who had gone through an enucleation (eye removal) with their young son, I passed my number along so that I could ask them some questions. There is something about being able to sit down and chat with someone who has been through what you're facing that is SO much better than just reading about it on the internet. Kim called me the weekend before Christmas and we talked for over an hour. We decided to get our families together so we could meet her adorable little guy, David. We thought it would be best for Tate to keep it casual by just getting a couple of pizzas and letting the kids play. We were so excited to finally get to meet them tonight! 


We showed up with dinner a little after 7 (a little late, since Todd's piece of junk car decided to break down on his way home from work!), and we sat down to eat. The kids were kind of quiet during dinner, but by the time they were finished eating, it was like they were all old friends. They ran off to play while Todd and I chatted with Kim and Rob. David lost his eye from retinoblastoma (cancer) when he was 2. He didn't get his prosthetic eye for several months afterwards because of the chemo and radiation he was undergoing. He is such a sweet boy, and so smart. He told us all about his prosthetic eye. It happened to be cleaning time while we were there, so we got to see how that works. Here are a few of the photos I took tonight:


David takes his eye out by himself.

It was quick!

The prosthetic eye isn't a ball-shape like you see in the cartoons. The underside is concave, so it's more like a really thick contact lens. They're made of acrylic. They're also hand-painted. It's amazing.

Still smiling!

And it's back in! David takes his eye out, but his mom puts it back in for him, with the assistance of some eye ointment and mineral oil to help it go smoothly. What a cutie!

They only take his eye out when it's irritating him, like when he gets an eyelash or something in it. There are telltale signs like redness around his eyelids or David rubbing his eye. (Kim warned us that when David rubs his eye, it will often get turned upside down!) A wash with warm water and Ivory bar soap, and a squirt of eye ointment and a little mineral oil on the back, and it's ready to slide back in. It had been a couple of weeks since they had to take it out last. The general rule is "Don't bother it unless it's bothering you." We looked through some photos of David before and after his surgery. His "before" photos were just pitiful. He had so much pain before his surgery, that he didn't even need pain medications post-op. I wonder how Tate will do. 


I felt better than I expected about the whole thing. Everyone was waiting to see how Tate would do, and I was worried about how I would do! We talked a lot about God bringing us through trials, and always giving us enough strength to handle whatever it is that we're dealing with. There have been times that I have just wanted to throw a good old-fashioned temper tantrum and say "This is it, God! This is my limit!", but I know that He will carry me through these times. It's okay to grieve and cry and struggle, but in the end, we will lay it as His feet, and He will pull us through. Only God knows the plans that He has for us, and I know He has big plans for Tate! He has a reason.  Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

All of the boys enjoyed meeting David and his family. Jake and Noah weren't afraid to get a super close look at David without his eye in. They both said later that they were surprised that the eye wasn't a ball shape, and that it didn't bother them at all to see David without his eye. I think Jake was more surprised than anyone that it didn't bother him. He was pretty nervous about it beforehand. Tate was really clingy to Todd while David took his eye out. He was facing away, but Kim said she saw him peeking some. I thought it would be best to tell Tate about David ahead of time, and that we'd get to see his super-cool eye, but I think he needs to get more comfortable before he's ready to really watch. We plan to get the kids together again soon to play, and they assured us that they're there anytime Tate decides he's ready to see what it's like to have a prosthetic eye. Tate might have his own before he decides he's ready to see it! :) 


I talked to Jake and Noah when we got home, so I could answer any questions they might have. We talked about why David had to have his eye removed, and we talked about the bone growing in the back of Tate's eye. Jake and Noah both have a newfound sympathy for Tate. It might keep them from wrestling around with him so much. For a day or two, anyway. The boys decided that they didn't want to bring Tate's sick eye home from the hospital, that they'd rather donate it to science (um, yeah... good plan!). We prayed for David and Tate, and the boys went to sleep. 


As far as Todd's car goes, we'll worry about that tomorrow. We're praying that it's something that isn't too expensive to fix since our funds are pretty much tapped out between having to use our emergency fund to replace our washer and dryer and the medical bills rolling in. When it rains, it pours, but God always provides. Philippians 4:19 And my God will supply all your needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus.